This section is about complaints.
Summary: When somebody complains about a person, or life in general, the heart of the complaint describes either a person whose face is imprinted or the environment they experienced around a person whose face is imprinted.
Here are some examples that illustrate what I mean:
If someone says, "People don't accept me for who I am," I might ask, "Who didn't accept you for who you were when you were a child?" I'd likely hear the name of someone whose face is imprinted.
If someone says, "She only thinks about herself" I might ask, "Who in your childhood only thought about themselves?" I'd likely hear the name of someone whose face is imprinted.
People who say "Things are beyond my control. It's like I'm just following a script," will likely think that during their childhood, things seemed beyond their control and they felt like they were just following a script.
If someone says "The world is a rotten place", I would ask what it is about the world that makes it a rotten place. They might say, "it's chaotic and unpredictable." They will then likely agree that their childhood was chaotic and unpredictable.
Complaints, as used here:
Come from emotion and not intellect. In other words, a person making a complaint always feels upset in some way.
Use the person's own thoughts and words. Repeating what someone else said is not necessarily complaining as described here.
Heart of the complaint
The "heart of the complaint" refers to an unexaggerated, relatively specific description of what the person is complaining about. Sometimes, people who are upset use strong language or exaggerated generalizations. For example, someone might say "She's really screwed up!" That is a complaint, but "She's really screwed up" could mean a lot of different things. Asking, "What makes her really 'screwed up'?" might lead to a response such as, "She only thinks about herself." That is likely to be the heart of the complaint and, if so, will describe someone whose face is imprinted.
Use exact words
When talking to someone about their complaints, the person's exact words must be used. If the person's words are changed, they may not agree that their complaint describes a person or situation from their childhood. For example, a person who says, "I live in a world where I don't belong," may not agree with: "I suspect that you felt unaccepted when you were a child." However, if you say, "I suspect that you felt like you didn't belong when you were a child," the person is likely to agree.
Here are three reasons why the above may not seem to work:
The person doesn't remember the part of their childhood they are complaining about. However, looking at pictures of the people whose faces are imprinted helps them remember those forgotten parts of their childhood.
The heart of the complaint is not obvious. For example, if someone says "He's so arrogant!" asking, "What makes him so arrogant?" may elicit a list of arrogant qualities that accurately describe the person but may not describe anyone from their childhood. What's missed is that the person is feeling ignored - which can easily happen when talking to someone who is very arrogant. In this case, the heart of the complaint – being ignored – is never discovered.
The person has been taught to always be positive and never complain. When asked who in their childhood their complaint describes, they revert to being positive and, consequently, don't recall their childhood problems. However, looking at pictures of the people whose faces are imprinted restores those memories and the associated connections.
A complaint about a female may be a complaint about a male whose face is imprinted, and vice-versa.