Summary:
I often group emotions into two categories that I call Category 1 and Category 2.
Category 1 Emotion:
These are activating or energizing emotions. They involve increased physiological arousal and are often expressed through outward action.
Here are some commonly used terms to describe these emotions:
* Anger
*Frustration
* Impatience
* Agitation
* Displeasure
* Resentment
* Irritation
* Annoyance
* Hostility
* Indignation
* Disapproval
* Disdain
* Disgust
* Sternness
These behaviors are often emotionally charged with Category 1 emotion:
* Scolding
* Lecturing
* Criticizing
Category 2 Emotion:
Category 2 emotions involve withdrawal, inward focus, disengagement, or emotional numbing. They are essentially the opposite of category 1 emotions.
The following words are often used to describe someone experiencing category 2 emotions:
* Passive
* Uninvolved
* Indifferent
* Ignoring
* Not paying attention
* Unresponsive
* Distant
* Preoccupied
* Emotionally flat
* Unavailable
* Uninterested
* Aloof
* Apathetic
Pride
I sometimes group pride with Category 1 emotion because it also activates people physically and mentally. In my observations, people who frequently express Category 1 emotions often also exhibit high levels of pride.
Category 1 and 2 emotions and parent-child interactions
It is important to distinguish between when a parent and child are interacting and when a child is merely observing a parent doing something, but not actually interacting with the parent.
Parent experiencing category 1 emotion:
When a parent is experiencing Category 1 emotion, it's easy to see whether or not the parent is interacting with the child. For example, if a parent is angry, it's typically very easy to see if the anger is directed at the child or at someone/something else.
Parent experiencing Category 2 emotion:
When a parent is experiencing Category 2 emotion, it may not be obvious if the parent and child are interacting or if the child is merely observing the parent. The difference depends on the child’s expectation. If the child is seeking interaction or believes they are engaged with the parent, then I consider it an interaction—regardless of how interactive the parent appears to be. Otherwise, I say that the child is merely observing the parent and not experiencing an interaction.
For example, if a child tries to show a drawing to a parent who doesn’t respond, the child will most likely feel ignored and experience the parent’s emotional disengagement as being directed at them. In this case, I say that the parent is directing Category 2 emotion at the child.
This distinction plays a crucial role in my framework. As I will describe later, if the child experiences the parent’s Category 2 emotion as part of an interaction, the child typically responds with a Category 1 emotion (such as anger, distress, or agitation). But if the child is merely observing the parent’s withdrawn state without experiencing it as an interaction, the child will instead mimic the parent’s Category 2 emotion.
To capture this difference, I use the phrase "directing Category 2 emotion at the child" to describe situations in which the child experiences the situation as an interaction with a parent who is emotionally withdrawn.